As I was driving back from the prayer service on Sunday I wondered what I would do if I ever lost Blake and the answer came so suddenly and honestly that I started crying. I would become so extremist person who does stupid stuff so I didn’t technically commit suicide but if in any crazy attempt I did die then what I did it for came to pass. I can’t live without him and I won’t.
I’m really happy that Britt’s butt was hanging out all day. And Laura’s boobs. And the fact that he told me the story of his speeding ticket a couple times but never about how he thought it was a friend that was behind him. But he told Brittney that. And never that it happened the night he broke up with Megan. I just love the little specifics he leaves out. I’ll just have to get used to it.
Oh and how he gave Andrea a piggy back ride. That was lovely or how he laughs at Brittney.
Let’s see… I closed Saturday last week so I got to see him for two seconds when he stopped by.
Sunday we hung out with my family and then went to see a(n awesome) movie so it wasnt the just me and him time that I like.
Monday was the start of us being sick so he stayed home.
Tuesday I closed at work…. two minutes I got to see him.
Wednesday I closed at work.. two minutes I got to see him.
Thursday I went home sick from work so I could to see him for 15 minutes when he stopped by but the whole time I told him to go home cuz I needed to sleep.
Friday I made him go home after 2 hours cuz I had to open the next day and needed sleep.
Saturday we had my family reunion so that was great but not me actually getting to be with him.
Sunday we had a trip to his aunts house for his families family pictures so no seeing each other.
Monday I went out to his house and hung out and watched harry potter
Tuesday I closed at work
Wednesday I work until 10:30 but still I can’t see him.
Thursday I close at work.
Friday.. I finally get to see him.. at least I hope I do. I miss him.
I miss getting to come hang out and say goodnight for 20 minutes after work.. or seeing him for an hour or two between class and work. This whole see him for 5 minutes (if that) 4 days of the week and then family time for one or two or even three of the the other days I don’t like. I want to just have it be me and him for like 3 hours. Just cuddle and talk. I really hope Friday works out.
So I as I walked up the stairs to my house I tripped on the last one and fell pretty hard on my bad knee which made me mad since it hurt so when I got to the door our cat, Sheba, was meowing to be let in right under my feet and I’m suposed to just gently keep her back with my feet.. yeah I like halfway shoved her ass across the porch.. maybe 10 feet. It didn’t hurt her or anything but idk I was mad and that was my story.
"I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime."
*Insert stupid nervous laugh here.* “I’d like that.”
So today as I was talking to Blake while he was at work a customer came up behind me so I moved out of the way and just stayed back in an aisle while Blake got him what he asked for, an application. Later Blake told me that while the dude was behind me he was checking me out and while Blake was getting the application he walked over and looked down the aisle I was in. Blake wanted to kill him but I didn’t notice any of it. I honestly didn’t see him looking at me even once though cause I was looking at Blake.
May I add.. ew! It’s hella creepy and since Blake said that he was looking at my butt Blake had to feel it up haha ♥
I’ve known that I wanted to marry him since I had that dream of doing so in Chicago which was not even a month after we started dating. And I understand that marriage isn’t easy but as long as we stay committed to each other and never stop caring that we will work. And I do believe we will make it.
I really hate waiting.. I just want to be with him.. That’s all. I wish it was acceptable for us to just live together.. To move in together thus fall and get married next fall.. We’d be acting like we were married and I can’t wait to be able to call him my husband but its not acceptable. Idk maybe my thoughts on this aren’t what they should be.. My expectations too high on irrelevant parts.
It’s funny.. I HATE my thighs.. Well I used to.. You see I told that to Blake, my boyfriend, and well to be honest I’ve told him probably a good 20 times that I hate them or I don’t want him to look at my thighs when I’m wearing shorts or whatever. Everytime he would say that he loves every part of me, including my thighs. But in this last instance that I mentioned my hatred for them he did something so sweet. He told me again that he loved every part of me and I of course didn’t believe him so he said that he would have to show me that he loves every part by kissing me. Which I protested but he was adamant. He said “I love your hand” and then kissed the back of my hand and said that he loved every part before he kissed it.. fingers, arm, shoulders, the weird bump on my shoulder, cheeks, ears, eyes, forehead, nose, neck, belly, thighs, legs, feet (with me protesting), back, and ears and cheeks again just to drive me crazy while I tried to kiss his lips… but it was sweet. It was all so adorable. And idk but oddly enough I don’t hate them as much. I don’t love them like him but it’s a step into not hating them.